Blog on hiatus

Tonight I pack up the laptop that broadcasts as my inner monologue, often without a very effective filter.

I do not know when I will be able to post again, or if the security situation will make it advisable for me to post again.  Every time I leave it gets harder.  Tonight we had the traditional Denny's dinner, and the waitress received the traditional 20 dollar tip.  I don't know what it is about routines, but there is comfort in them.  Unfortunately routines also make you predictable.  Although I don't think that going to a Denny's before deploying is really going to make me a softer target.

Last night my eldest son snuggled up to my side and pulled my right arm over him like a blanket before he fell off to sleep.  I can't thank enough the people who have helped me experience that one last time. 

Soldiers and Cancer patients get to live like they are dieing (not a true statement, but it gets the idea across close enough).  The truth is that everybody is subject to the whims of fate.  And being stateside doesn't mean you won't be die suddenly.

I hope that I come home to my family in half a year.  I hope that they are safe and healthy. 

I don't think I'll sleep well at all tonight.  It is like this every time.  It was hard enough when it was just me and the wife (and the yorkie).  Add two sons to the mix and it gets harder and harder to separate myself from who I truly am to go do a job that I wanted to do ten years ago. 

But the Army is my family too.  At one point I was an 18 year old kid in over his head, and those who were older and wiser took care of me.  Now it is my turn to take care of those kids, do my best to keep them alive so they can come home to their families.